Hallam's hockey too hot for Uni

*Hockey names again in brackets after real names for members of The University of Sheffield Hockey Club

The University of Sheffield Men’s Hockey 1^st team were comprehensively beaten 5-1 by Hallam at Abbeydale on Varsity Finals Day.

Hallam were in complete control of the game almost throughout as Uni gave an unusually lack lustre performance in front of a noisy crowd.

The first fifteen minutes were poor with both sides guilty of some fairly sloppy passing. Uni had a few half chances with forward John Hamilton (Lambrini) and Captain Richard Beeching (Popeye) sending reverse stick shots wide.

But in the sixteenth minute Hallam got on top. They won a penalty flick and a weak effort from Hallam’s Dafydd Charles’ crept agonizingly between Uni keeper Sam Harrison’s (Shitbreak) legs.

Things got worse for Uni moments later when a long corner saw Charles get his and Hallam’s second goal, firing in from a tight angle.

Uni tried to respond with Rob Miller (Nailgun) steering a shot wide from a Carl Ward (legless) cross, but Hallam dominated the half.

Uni’s frustration was clear to see when substitute Tom Oliver (Buca) was green carded for a rash stick tackle before half-time.

Being 2-0 down at half-time left Uni looking for a foothold in the game and they almost got a goal back two minutes in, Ronak Patel (Boyzone) and Chris Abbo (Smash) unable to steer in a free hit.

Uni did get a goal back five minutes into the second half. Beeching’s (Popeye) short corner was cleverly worked by Miller (Nailgun), whose cross was flicked in by Hamilton (Lambrini) to make it 2-1.

Hallam responded instantly when Captain Alex Bailey turned in Charles’ short corner just minutes after Uni had pulled one back.

With the score at 3-1 Uni had to attack, changing formation to play three at the back. However, they could not turn their possession into chances and the sloppy passing that plagued them in the first half began to creep back in.

Hallam always looked composed on the ball and a danger on the counter attack. They added two more goals before the end, with a cheeky lob from Andy Mills and a breakaway goal from Tom North.

After the match Hallam Captain Alex Bailey said: “After being 3-1 up at half-time last year it was a killer blow to lose. When we came in 2-0 up this time we knew we wouldn’t let it slip.”

Frustrated Uni Captain Richard Beeching (Popeye) gave his post-match thoughts: “We’re disappointed but it was their year. You could tell they were better trained than us and we need more coaching if we are to compete.”

Line-up:

• GK – Sam Harrison (Shitbreak)
  
• RB – David Harvey (Tripod)
  
• LB – Carl Ward (Legless)
  
• CB – Matthew Harrison (ASBO)
  
• CB – Chris Abbo (Smash)
  
• RM – Ben Hearne (Ringsting)
  
• LM – Richard Beeching (c) (Popeye)
  
• CM – Rob Miller (Nailgun)
  
• CM – Oscar Evans (Poo Leg)
  
• CF – John Hamilton (Lambrini)
  
• CF – Ronak Patel (Boyzone)
  
• SUB – Chris Hazell (Pistachio)
  
• SUB – Joel Harrison (Swede)
  
• SUB – Tom Oliver (Buca)
  

Goal Scorers: Hallam – Dafydd Charles 2, Alex Bailey, Andy Mills, Tom North; Uni – John Hamilton (Lambrini)

Man of the Match: Uni – Oscar Evans (Poo Leg); Hallam – Dafydd Charles

Uni Men's 2s hammer Hallam

*For all Sheffield University Hockey players who don't know peoples non-hockey names I've put them in brackets.

The University of Sheffield Men’s Hockey 2^nd team proved to be too much for their cross city rivals, beating Hallam 4-0 at a chilly Goodwin on Monday night.

Both sets of supporters were in full voice despite the rain and low temperatures, but Uni’s fans and players dominated in a feisty encounter.

The first twenty minutes were cagey, with both sides looking nervous. Hallam started the brightest but Uni began to dominate possession although not creating any clear cut chances.

Hallam finally succumbed to the pressure from a well worked short corner. Right midfielder Kiagh Bridges (Foetus) fired in a cross to the far post where Captain Michael Husk (Husky) was on hand to slip it past the keeper.

But Uni’s joy was short lived when right back Andrew McGuire (Short Arse) was yellow carded for arguing with the umpire, leaving his side a man down whilst he cooled off in the sin bin.

Hallam looked to assert their man advantage but it was Uni who struck again midway through the half. Another short corner was worked cleverly as Bridges (Foetus) played a slick one-two before flicking the ball home to double his sides lead.

Despite being a man short Sheffield University continued to dominate and Bridges (Foetus), Husk (Husky) and Chris Dunning (Sniper) all missed decent chances before leaving the field at half-time with a 2-0 lead.

The second half was extremely scrappy and Hallam had their centre midfielder yellow carded for a barge on Dunning (Sniper) in the first five minutes.

Uni made the man advantage count minutes later when Tim Watkin (Widowmaker) scored with a smart finish between his legs to extend the lead to three goals, and Uni almost had a fourth moments later but Angus Roses’ (Cockfoster) strike was disallowed.

Things began to boil over with Dunning (Sniper) seeing yellow following a heated confrontation and substitute Sam Favager (Flange) exchanged words with Hallam’s No.2.

Hallam’s best period of the match came after an hour when they fired a short corner wide and forced Uni goalkeeper Pete Clark (Velcro) into a great double save in order to preserve his clean sheet.

But in the dieing moments Husk (Husky) and McGuire (Short Arse) combined down the right and McGuire’s (Shirt Arse) cross was eventually turned in by Rose (Cockfosters) to give Uni a convincing 4-0 win.

After the match a beer soaked Captain Michael Husk (Husky) said: “We where pretty good and we completely dominated the game. Everyone upped their game and put in 110% when we were a man down.”

Line-up:

• GK – Pete Clark (Velcro)
  
• RB – Andrew McGuire (Short Arse)
  
• LB – Richard West (Dutch Oven)
  
• CB – Evan Moore (Jizzum)
  
• CB – Michael Husk (c) (Husky)
  
• RM – Kiagh Bridges (Foetus)
  
• LM – Ben Meaton (Loner)
  
• CM – Chris Dunning (Sniper)
  
• CM – Chris Swales (Sheep Shagger)
  
• CF – Tim Watkin (Widowmaker)
  
• CF – Angus Rose (Cockfoster)
  
• SUB – David Clarke (Trenchfoot)
  
• SUB - Sam Favager (Flange)
  

Goal scorers: Michael Husk (Husky), Kiagh Bridges (Foetus), Tim Watkin (Widowmaker), Angus Rose (Cockfoster)

Man of the Match: Michael Husk (Husky)

Uni Lose in Varsity Swimming

The University of Sheffield Swimming Team were soundly beaten by there Hallam counterparts in their Varsity fixture, losing 15.5 points to 7.5 at Ponds Forge on Wednesday.

The swimming event consisted of 23 races, five of which were team races, and Uni struggled to compete with Hallam’s superior stamina and conditioning.

Things were close during the 50m races as the score stood at 7-5 in favour of Hallam, with Hallam’s victory in the Men’s 50m Breast Stroke being the difference between the two sides.

However, in the longer 100m races Hallam’s longer training hours and professional coaching proved to be the difference. Men’s Captain Matthew Grainger said: “We have some talented swimmers but having less training than Hallam means we have less stamina than them.

“Over 100m there muscle stamina shows. We are working on getting more pool time via the Elite Funding Programme and are hoping to keep our coach who helped us prepare for Varsity on a full time basis.”

Sheffield Hallam’s female swimmers dominated there events winning both the 4x25m Team Front Crawl and 4x25m Team Medley, as well as eight out of nine of the individual events.

The University of Sheffield’s only victory in the women’s events came in the 100m Backstroke, with former national competition swimmer Rebecca Hobson winning impressively.

Matthew Grainger came close to delivering the same result in the Men’s 100m Backstroke in the closest individual race of the day, being piped to victory in the last few metres.

However, the event was run in a good spirit and this shone through in the last race of the day, the 6x25m Freestyle in which everybody from both clubs competed. Three Hallam Men’s swimmers even raced in ladies swim suits.

The race was called a draw in a spectacular finish to a day of improvement for the Uni Swimming Team. Women’s Captain Sophie Stenton said: “It was a big improvement on last year. We are going to celebrate our achievement at Juice tonight.”

Elsewhere in the pool the Men’s and Women’s Canoe Water Polo ended with a point to each side, with Uni’s Men winning 4-1 and Hallam’s Women securing a 2-0 victory in a close contest.

Radio Star

As someone who is used to being on the radio on a Saturday morning you'd think that having the weekend off at home for my birthday would be a welcome treat. Especially with me not having to get up at stupid o'clock in the morning for the Cosner and Tibsy Show on Sheffield Universities Sure Radio.

However, whilst in the car on the way to play hockey for my Dad's team I was listening to the second best show on the radio (after my own of course), Fighting Talk on BBC Radio 5 Live. As a regular podcaster of the show I was pleased to catch the show live for a change, which gave me a chance to participate in their Question Two competition. This is where the panel give their answers to the shows second question and then presenter Colin Murray throws it open to the listeners to text or email in their suggestions.

This week it was for sports people as musical instruments. Ian Stone came up with the funniest on the panel by suggesting David Ginola as the French Horn. However, I had thought one up of my very own. I whipped out my phone and began to text away my witty retort.

After Lindsey Horne's match day travel report Colin started to read out a couple of the listener’s answers. Then I hear it, "Derby County are a recorder as they are easy to play", Murray said in his delightful Northern Irish brogue. But my delight was short lived when instead of hearing my own name, I hear some randoms.

Someone, equally as funny as me, had gotten in before me. The one time I tune in live and can text in my hilarious answer it was stolen from me. And to cap it all we got battered 8-0 in the hockey.