Haiku

I’ve noticed in the news recently that a lot of famous people are writing haikus, a form of poetry that comes from Japan.

Before he was unceremoniously dethroned by David Haye, it was revealed that seven foot goliath Nikolai Valuev wrote poetry for his wife.

Similarly the new President of Europe, the overwhelmingly underwhelming Herman van Rompuy, can turn a phrase far better than he can turn heads at an EU meeting.

This got me to thinking; how hard can it be? So here are my attempts at a few haiku poems of my very own. They don't follow the Japanese phonetic style but are more of a western pattern that can be found at the bottom of this piece.

I've dedicated the first two haikus to the men who inspired me to give them a go, Nikolai and Herman:

Haiku for ‘The Beast from the East’:

Ugly gargantuan stumbles.
Enigmatic Haye celebrates and
humbles the pathetic poetic giant.

Haiku for Herman:

Unremarkable unknown man crowned.
Unexciting Belgian victorious and
defeats the unpopular warmonger Blair.

Haiku for Henry:

Clean shaven superstar cheats.
Incandescent Irishmen whale and
lambast the useless short-sighted officials.

Haiku for Tiger:

Clean shaven superstar cheats.
Expensive car crashes and
reveals the furious golf-club-swinging wife.

Haiku for Roger Federer:

Clean shaven superstar worries.
Bizarre Gillette curse emerges and
troubles the Swiss tennis player.

Hope you liked them. I only knocked these up quickly and am not sure if I followed the rules to the letter. If you want to try them yourselves then the format for doing them is posted below. Comments would be great appreciated.

Adjective adjective noun verb.
Adjective noun verb and
verb the adjective adjective noun.